Meeting men without online dating
) and confusing (wait, did I tell you this crazy-funny story from my weekend, or was that someone else? While it didn’t work out with this Bumble guy, I was able to focus on how I felt around him without constantly comparing him to other people popping up on my phone. Pro: No tedious and often dead-end conversations with matches.Online dating involves a lot of time and effort that can feel like wasted energy but is just part of the search.I didn’t miss this at all: I wasn’t spending time on conversations that fizzled or making plans that were eventually canceled, two of my biggest pet peeves about online dating. Which is another way of saying I didn’t go on many dates, period.In their new book “This Is Why You’re Single,” they pose the rhetorical question: “Would you say, ‘No, I’m going to sit home and focus on not meeting someone so that I can eventually meet someone’? Like any night in, some of them are restorative and some are boring.In my three months off the apps, I experienced both.So I logged off of Bumble, Hinge, Happn, JSwipe and Tinder, and I haven’t touched them since.My app hiatus was a much-needed break, but not everything about it was wonderful.
I have a friend that goes on two or three first dates every week with people he already knows are potentially good personality and physical matches for him—how you find the right person, and good luck keeping up with him meeting people the old-fashioned way.I spent more time with friends who are important to me and focused more on work, which benefits all of you wonderful readers and is often more fulfilling than a random night out with a stranger.I found myself going to parties and being more excited about connecting with potential freelancers than potential dates. Con: It’s hard to tell who’s single in the real world. In my 20s, I had plenty of random run-ins that turned into dates: a flirty bus conversation that turned into a breakfast meetup the following day; another time I met a cute neighbor while trudging home during Snowmageddon of 2010 and we dated for a few weeks.As for the current online dating options—they strike me as a good first crack at this by humanity, but the kind of thing we’ll significantly improve on to the point where the way it was done in 2014 will seem highly outdated in not too many years.Now that the stigma has diminished, you know this industry is going to race ahead because there’s so much money to be made by whoever can be innovative.
I’ve already expressed my argument for why in two posts: one on how critical it is to find the right life partner and how seriously we should take that quest, and another on why going to bars is a terrible life experience.